Compliment jokes

On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.

I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!

I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!

All these Avengers and you're still marvellous.

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

What did the 0 say to the 8?

"Nice belt."

You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.

Roses are red, just like your lips.

Mountains are big, just like your tits.

What do 2 emo kids say to each other?

"I like ya cut, G."

*Slaps wrist*

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?

"Nice tits."

"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"

In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

What do you do when you see a wiener dog?

I like you wiener.

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"