Compliment jokes
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?
A: "Those are two nice towers right there."
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
This is so bad
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
I told my wife her eyebrows were too high.
She looked surprised.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
You're really sexy 😉
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."