Compliment jokes

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

What did one needle say to the other?

"You be looking sharp!"

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!

A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?

The husband answers her: Pretty.

The wife responds: Thank yo-

The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!

Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.

What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?

"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" 😙

How do emo kids complement each other?

They say, "I like ya cuts g."

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

Tuxedos suit you.

What did the 5 say to the S?

"Nice shape."

How does an emo kid compliment one another?

Like your cuts, G.

Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.