Awesome jokes
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
Awesome, amazing game!
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.
Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE
Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
WOW this ultra realistic jenga is awesome!🔥🔥
Follow me on Instagram for some awesome comics!
Username: thelightlessdays
I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.
Don’t bother me none, babe!
Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!
“Hol up”
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
I am awesome, look at me!
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!
Baseball is awesome!
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.