Compliment jokes

A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

B: Thank you.

A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!

What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?

He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”

Why did one emo say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

"Your pussy is sweeter than Mom's," Brother admired his sister.

"I know," replied Sister. "Father told me too."

You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.

What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?

“You got nice buns!”

Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?

A: "Those are two nice towers right there."

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.

She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."

The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."

Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?

If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!

You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.