Compliment jokes

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"

In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!

It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.

What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.

Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.

Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.

Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.

Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.

Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.

Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.

I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.

Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.

Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.

Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.

Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.

Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.

Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.

Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.

Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.

Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.

I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.

Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.

Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.

Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.

Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

What did one emo kid say to the other?

"I like ya cut, G."

I think you're eggcellent!

I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

Nice cock, bitch.

Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."