Compliment jokes

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!

I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.

What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!

You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.

I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.

How do emo kids complement each other?

They say, "I like ya cuts g."

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...