Compliment jokes

I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”

How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?

Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"

How does an emo kid compliment one another?

Like your cuts, G.

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.

What do you say when an emo cuts themself?

"Like your cut, G."

What did the 5 say to the S?

"Nice shape."

What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."

The other man says, "How do you know?"

The other man says, "Because she is dead."

What does one emo kid say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?

You brighten my day.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.

Tuxedos suit you.

"Orla Doyle is fit."

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!