Competition jokes
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
Why does a cheetah cheat to always win?
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?
The motherboard was nowhere to be found.
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.
"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.
Player 138 eliminated...
MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢
NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝
MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔
LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿
POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅
"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬
"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁
There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...
...Steve Kerr’s team.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."