Back
Comedy

Comedy jokes

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.

Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?

He didn't have a good counter act!

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺

*runs away in tears*

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."