Comedy

Comedy Jokes

Movie Star

Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?

He didn't have a good counter act!

Perspective

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Difference

W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺

*runs away in tears*

Common

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Dog

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

Shooter

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

Parent

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

War

I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

Difference

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

Babysitting

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Woman

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

Hairline

Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.

Priest

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.