Comedy jokes

Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.

What do you call a midget stripper?

A pocket pussy.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.

If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.

Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.

How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?

He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!

Why do people hate abortion jokes?

It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!

Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.

Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.

What is the best joke of all time?

Feminism.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

Why did the booty break up with the fart?

It was just too much GASLIGHTING.

I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.

He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?