Comedy jokes
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.
All these jokes are all plane.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Joe Mama!
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Don’t make jokes about 9/11. My dad was the best Middle Eastern pilot.
Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.