Comedy jokes

W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺

*runs away in tears*

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

What's the funniest joke ever?

Rapboat thinking he can rap.

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

What did Jessiey do?

Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!

Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.

I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.

I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

This is a joke. Laugh now or else.

I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.

But the punch line is too long.

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.