Comedy jokes

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

What did Jessiey do?

Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!

Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.

I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.

I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

This is a joke. Laugh now or else.

I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.

But the punch line is too long.

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.

I am an Indian joke.

Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!

I was going to think of a good amputee joke...

But I’m stumped.

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"