Comedy Jokes

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.

i am an indian joke

Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!

I was going to think of a good amputee joke...

But I’m stumped.

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.

Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight

Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?

Because a SANSET is happening.

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?

A: Because they're intended for a young audience.

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.