Clothing jokes
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?
Memorial Day.
Why?
Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
What's a rapper's favorite type of clothing?
RAP-TORS.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
Look under...
Under where?
You just said underwear!