Clothing jokes

What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)

A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.

The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.

The man then got plastic prosthetics.

Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.

After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.

What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.

What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?

A Christian.

How do I feed the baby with my pants on?

So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.

And I asked him what he is doing.

Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.

Me: Erm... Are you a simp?

Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.

KG: You have it?

Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?

KG: Sure!

KG then went to her room.

Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-

KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.

KG: Have fun playing with them!

Guy: WHAT THE FU-

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

I ran out of bras, so I wore...

My grandma's underpants!

Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he gets a hole in one.

Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.

Son: Dad, I need a new butt.

Dad: Why, son?

Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.

Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!

What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?

Memorial Day.

Why?

Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.

"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race

What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?

The color black.

It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.

Why does fireman wear red suspenders?

To hold his pants up.