Clothing jokes
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
What do lemons 🍋 wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Memes
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?
Memorial Day.
Why?
Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race