Underpants jokes

Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?

No ballroom.

A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.

The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."

Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.

Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.

After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.

Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"

The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."

What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?

Michael Jackson's lipstick.

How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?

A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?

I ran out of bras, so I wore...

My grandma's underpants!

I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.

A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”

The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”