Chocolate jokes

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.

My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!

Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?

It uses Hershey pronouns.

I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.

If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.

What do an M&M and juice have in common?

Window.

What competition do nuts participate in?

The peanut butter cup.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.

What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?

It's chocolate chimp.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.

Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG