Chocolate jokes

What is a rat's favorite dessert?

A chocolate mousse cake.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.

What’s the difference between chocolate and people?

You can’t buy people nowadays.

Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.

Why did the M&M go to school?

It wanted to be a Smartie.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)

What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.

What kind of chocolate do racists hate?

Dark chocolate.

What do an M&M and juice have in common?

Window.

Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."

How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.

Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.

Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...