Chocolate jokes

What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?

Stiff chocolate.

What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.

You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?

Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.

He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.

Silence...

And then at last she spoke...

"Unexpected item in the bagging area."

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

Why are they called s’mores?

Because you always want another one!

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?

A Kinder Surprise.

What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?

Chocolate arm.

Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.

Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?

For throwing out the W's.

What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?

Ones that contain nuts.

The Cheerio Joke

Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.

So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.

The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."

⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️

What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?

A Kit Kat

Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

A: Either way they'll kill your dog.

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"

What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?

A sinkers bar.