Chocolate jokes
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. ๐คฃ๐๐ต
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Memes
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
This isnโt much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! ๐๐ช๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐ค๐๐ญ๐ซ๐ฐ
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesnโt last as long for fat people.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piรฑata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
Why was the Milky Way remembered...
Because it's... DELICIOUS!