Chocolate jokes
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
Hee hee
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.
Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.