Chocolate jokes
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "馃惗"
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.
What kind of chocolate do racists hate?
Dark chocolate.
What鈥檚 the difference between chocolate and people?
You can鈥檛 buy people nowadays.
What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
This isn鈥檛 much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?
Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn鈥檛 last as long for fat people.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!