Chocolate jokes

What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?

A sinkers bar.

Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...

What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?

Chocolate drops.

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."

What is the opposite of a lady finger?

Answer: Mentos.

Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.

What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?

Pooreos.

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)

Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.

Why did the M&M go to school?

It wanted to be a Smartie.

What’s the difference between chocolate and people?

You can’t buy people nowadays.

Why do trans women go by she/her?

Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.

What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.

Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"

The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"

Johnny replies: "Sure."

After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.

Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"

The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."

After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?

A Mars bar!

Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?

Priest: Why?

Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.