A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
Why do trans women go by she/her?
Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.
