children's jokes
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
When the school lets you near children again...
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
What is big, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is the difference between underaged privileged children with bone cancer and you?
I like you!
What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.