Children jokes

Why do orphans have water in their cereal?

Because their dad never came home with the milk.

Why is it so easy bullying orphans?

They can’t tell their mom.

A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.

"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.

"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."

The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."

The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"

"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.

"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"

Did you know cannibals ate KFC?

Kentucky Fried Children.

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?

The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?

A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.

Why do orphans play Sims?

Because they can make themselves a family.

What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.

Why do orphans bully people?

Because they can't get suspended.

Contact Parent _______

Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.

What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."

A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey.

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.

Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.

Why can orphans never be kidnapped?

No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."