Children jokes
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Michael J. Fox isn't allowed around small children. When he touches them, he is immediately accused of shaken baby syndrome.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.