Children jokes
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...