Children jokes

Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.

Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer: Fisse.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Why can’t orphans have a horse?

Because they run away like their mum did.

A father tells his 10-year-old son...

"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."

His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.

Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?

Because they can’t find their parents.

This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.

Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.

What's rap boats got in common with plastic bags? They both a danger to young children.

Why do orphans play GTA?

To be wanted.

Why do orphanages give out free phones?

So you can press the home button.

What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.

What’s harder than steel?

Michael Jackson in a playground.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...

I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

F in orphan means family.

You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?