Children jokes
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
Why do orphans cry so much?
They can’t find a place to go.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.