Children jokes
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked up.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
I heard that the World Orphan Organization has a sponsor... DC Comics.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.