Children jokes

When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

Which sex position produces the ugliest children?

Go ask your mother.

What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?

School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.

Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."

What has 50 legs but can't walk?

25 disabled children.

I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.

My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.

Why can orphans not go on field trips? They need a parent signature.

Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.

For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."

What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?

Children.

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.

What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.

Why are babies called bundles of joy?

When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.