What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.
Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
Not a joke; just a statement:
Everything on here is unoriginal! đ But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesnât change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just canât help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven? Both of them.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because itâs the normal person's height.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, âI really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!â
Whatâs Whitney Houstonâs favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
Whatâs better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I donât know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying âOoh, I love how smooth it is.â
COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.
You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!
