Change jokes
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
What goes up but never comes down?
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.
Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
Not a joke; just a statement:
Everything on here is unoriginal! 😂 But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesn’t change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!