Conversion jokes

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

What did Superman say to Batman?

Nothing, Bruce is dead.

I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.

What did one casket say to the other casket?

"Is that you coughin'?"

The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”

Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...

Once I saw a retard and an Alberta separatist having a conversation.

Well, actually, it was just the Alberta separatist talking to himself.

What did the fork say to the spoon?

Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!

What did A say to Y?

"You cannot be alpha like me." :)

Y said, "Why? (Y)"

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

Conversation between a little baby and a lady👇

👱LADY: Hi. 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: How old are you? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your mom's name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What about your dad? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell GOD? 💂LIT.BABY: (spelling) G.O.D

If a little baby can spell GOD, what about you? Just spend some minutes and type "GOD" if [you] know [that you] will sleep and wake up tomorrow by GOD's grace, ignore if you are living by power. MINE: GOD 😃

Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?

Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.

Write 317537 on your calculator and turn it over to spell "Leslie."

What did one butt say to the other?

Something brown is slithering down.

What did the hat say to the tie?

"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"

What did one skeleton say to another?

...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?

A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.

I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.

Don’t bother me none, babe!

Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!

“Hol up”