I used to think all Americans were racist.
Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
What the fluff happened to this website?
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."
Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"
Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
