Change jokes
Why do Jews suck at mugging?
Because all they ask for is the spare change in your pockets.
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
I used to think all Americans were racist.
Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
What the fluff happened to this website?
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.