It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
Car Jokes
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
