Can jokes
Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.
Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.
What type of chip can orphan's not eat? The Lay's Family Size chips!
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
Anybody can use this :)
Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.