Can jokes

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.

Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?

Dear Kenya, love of life,

Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

Love you a million times more!

What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.

When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?

SHUT UP!!!

What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?

A waterfall.

I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.

It’s a job I can see myself doing.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Everything is black, I can't see, can you?

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.

Q: Why can't you run through a campground?

A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!

I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.

What do you call a white man that can dance?

A faggot.

It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.

A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.

The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.

Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!

What's the difference between a midget and a tall person? Only one of them can ride the rides.