Can jokes
Deez nuts, can we get much higher?
Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.
Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?
The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*