Can jokes
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
What's the funniest joke ever?
Rapboat thinking he can rap.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.
Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"