Can jokes
What's the funniest joke ever?
Rapboat thinking he can rap.
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
Yo mama, why do you have to jump in the pool as soon as I can find the water on Mario? I mean, Mario jump to Mars!
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!