Call jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
What do you call a feminazi that has a dick the size of a Vienna Sausage?
Fudge Packer.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.
Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.
Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.
Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.
Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.
Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.
In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.
With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.