Call jokes
Q: What do you call two nuns watching television?
A: Not very interesting.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call depressed Sesame Street?
Emo's World.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
- What do you call a bee who flew to United States? - "USB"
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.