Call jokes
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Robetoe.
What do you call a stupid male Indian?
"Anshu-man."
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?
A dirty whiteboard.
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.