Call jokes
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
Memes
me right now
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
I don’t know what to call this chat.
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.