Call jokes
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool? The dry bear.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?
Anglosaxon.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
What do you call a retard?
"Kahin."
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow! What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.