Call jokes
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
Have you heard of the foundation called Autism Speaks?
No, it screeches.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.