Call jokes
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What do you call a cringey Indian man? A Cringian.
Sorry, the joke is bad :(
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
What do you call a pool full of retards?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.
Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.
Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》
The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》
Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.