Call jokes
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
Memes
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
What do Americans call high school?
Shooting range.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.