Call jokes
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of water?
Lil Drip.
The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.