Call jokes
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef? Beefthoven!
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.