Call jokes
You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
Memes
lol anons are idiots
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
What do you call a bored robot?
A “sigh”-borg.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Why are natives called redskins? Idk, ask the pilgrims 😂
What do you call a questioning Constanta?
Curious George.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.