Call jokes
You calling me gay, but the pole is straighter than you.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
What do you call a crackhead with no crack?
Pointless.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
What do you call a pig in the mud?
A Ky hot brown.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "She was a little tardy."
I asked her, "I thought they all were."
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.