Call jokes
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.