Call jokes

What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?

Names.

If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

What do you call anal rape?

Ass cream.

One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"

The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."

A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"

The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."

Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."

Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

Friend: What kind?

Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

Friend: That's not funny..

Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

Friend: I'm calling your mom.

Me: She knows.

Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

Me: She's supposed to help?

Friend: Have you told your dad?

Me: I will when he comes back.

Friend: Where is he?

Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

Friend: ....

Me: What?

Friend: Why?

Me: Why what?

Friend: Why would you joke like that?

Me: I was joking..

Friend: I know.

Me: Oh. I didn't know.

Friend:...

Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.

What do you call an octopus with a hat?

An octopus with a hat, of course.

What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.

What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.

What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.

What do you call a surprised Chinese man?

Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.

What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!

What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?

"Call 911!"

The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."

What do you call an emo with curly hair?

Sam Reid.

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.