Call jokes
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.