Call jokes
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.