Call jokes
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
What do you call a train full of gum?
A chew chew train.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A vigilANTe!
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."