Call jokes

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

What do you call a Mexican door?

Dora.

9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.

What do u call a pretty Indian girl?

Bomb bae.

What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?

Beef strokin' off.

Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?

A: Lazy bones.

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

What do you call a person whose heart stopped?

Dead.

What do you call a black man flying a plane?

A pilot, you racist bastard!

"Why do people call Americans excessive?"

"It was probably because of WWII."

"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.

Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?

A. A backroom deal.

Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.

Why is arson so fun?

IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!

HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE

Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.