Call jokes
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)