Call it jokes
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)