Call it jokes
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.