Call it jokes
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.