But jokes

I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!

I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.

what do baby’s and grenades have in common?

They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise

Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?

People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.

It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

I have an orphan joke.

But it needs parental guidance.