But jokes

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

A little riddle...

Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

...

Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?

"No."

Yeah, but then he woke up.

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?

"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."