But jokes
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.