But jokes

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

No Panera Bread.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.

An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.

Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."