Business jokes
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
What do you call an angry Panera Bread?
Panera slapped!
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
What do you call an injured Panera Bread?
Panera Bled.
What kind of Panera Bread do fishers use?
Panera bait.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!