Business jokes
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
But he could only get 1 trade.
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.