Business jokes
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy? BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
You can't send an Indian to walk a corner. The only corner they will get to is 7-11.
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.