What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.
Business Jokes
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
So, a person walked into a shop.
Shop guy: "Hey RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD."
This is REALLY funny.
Please upvote, comment, and like.
Thank you very much.
A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?
Drugs.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to his job at KFC!
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?
The MIC Donald's drive-thru.
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
