Business jokes
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
Apparently, rich people have the smallest penises. It makes sense why Bill Gates called it "MicroSoft."
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
You can't send an Indian to walk a corner. The only corner they will get to is 7-11.
Memes
Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.
Why does Samsung sell TVs? 'Cause they make them! đđ¤Ł
September 2020: Three makeup tutorialists, James Charles, Jeffree Star, and Tati Westbrook have gone through smoke after the controversy surrounding the three of them. Honestly, Tati and Jeffree are trash. I just don't find their content interesting, and I don't watch James Charles, but I also dislike his content.
Okay here's your funny joke!
Who is the best makeup artist?
Just because Jeffree has "Star" at the end doesn't mean he is best.
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Theyâre draining the economy doooown!
Theyâve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jackâs seed.
Theyâve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
Theyâre spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
Weâve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a âfewâ more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
Weâre gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
Theyâve banked off buying boooze!
Theyâll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folkâll loseee.
Weâre gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kidsâre in the business tooo!
Theyâre draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
Weâve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now theyâre a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, weâre now an oligarchy!
WEâLL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
I drove past Wendyâs the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, âWendyâs openinâ then?â