A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.
